” My voicecracked as I spoke. But I did not try to removehis hand. And I did not lower my arm to blockhis access to my breast. I just laid theremotionless, allowing my son to stroke the sideof my breast.“Mom, it is okay. I just want to menear you, to touch you. I love you so much.”And I knew he did. I could feel the love in hisvoice and his touch. And I was deeply in lovewith my son too.*I did not respond, silentlytrying to determine what I should do. Gary’shand slowly, tentatively slid down the side of mybreast on top of my cotton t-shirt, and foundmy very erect nipple. He began to fondle mynipple through the cotton material as I tried tostifle my moan."Oh baby, please, don't..." I saidin a weak protest. I brought my hand up andtook hold of his fingers which were teasing mynipple. I intended to remove his hand from mybreast, but I didn't. I simply held his hand inplace against my breast. I could not seem tomuster the strength to actually pull his handfrom my breast; the contact was. Walking in heelsis addictive, not always comfortable, but undeniably addictive. The seedsof denial are the feelings of guilt and shame and these feelings areentirely self destructive. Stop and think about it. Crossdressing hurtsno one else so why should we allow it to hurt ourselves? Put that bag ofbricks down. One of my crossdressing fantasies centers around the thoughtof "what would you do if you were the last human being on earth." Raiseyour hand if you would crossdress full time every day. If your hand is upand you could imagine this scenario would you even consider itcrossdressing or would it simply be the real you coming to the forefrontwithout fear of judgement?Purging is wasteful and self defeating. Who is kidding who? Even as youpurge your stash you know you can't help but be drawn back to it, itsimply is who you are. The next time purging appears necessary stop andthink. Instead of throwing it all out put the wardrobe in storage and outof your immediate domicile. In.
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